11

9/11/01

Do you remember where you were? Do you remember the feelings that engrossed your every being? Do you remember the shock? The confusion? The horror? The utter disbelief?

I do. I'll never forget it.

I was driving on HWY 60 on my way to class at NGCSU in Dahlonega from my apartment in Gainesville. I was listening to 99x--a local radio station. I was singing along to one of my favorite songs of the time, when all of a sudden there was an interruption for "breaking news".

Never could I have imagined the magnitude of what I was about to hear.

One plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings. They were speculating about what was going on....was it an accident? If so, how?! Was it intentional? If so, WHY and how?! I started frantically searching for a news station. I wanted all the facts of what had happened up until that point.

Then, a second plane. Directly into the side of South World Trade Center.  Panic set in on the broadcasters.

I almost ran off the road.

All speculation of an "accident" flew out of the window. Our nation, this wonderful place we call home, was under attack. I felt physically sick, deep down in my gut. I also couldn't drive fast enough to campus.

You see, I went to NGCSU-The Military College or Georgia. I knew that this was going to change things.Not just for our country, but in my life. On my small college campus in the N Georgia mountains. I knew that some of the cadets I went to school with on a daily basis, would be deployed. That the guys I sat next to in class for the past 3.5 years, would soon be gone to fight in a war. Some might not ever make it back. The feelings were overwhelming.

I parked my car, somehow managed to remember my bags, and ran inside to the student center. The typical hustle and chatter were non existent. Everyone was standing there. In shock. Watching the planes stuck in the middle of the buildings, on fire. In awe. Whispers of what was happening, and questions of how it happened. Tears streaming down faces. Phone calls being frantically made to loved ones in NYC. Panic of the unknown.

During this time, a third plane had struck, but this time it was at the Pentagon.

Dear God, what is happening?! This has to be a bad dream. A nightmare. This can't be real life. No one could be this evil. Or could they?

Flights were being grounded. Phone lines were completely tied up. Contacting friends and family in Virginia and New York was impossible. It was sit. And wait. And pray. Pray deeply. Pray without ceasing.

If that wasn't enough. As we are all huddled around a small tv in the student center, the South WTC tower collapses. It was utter shock. Horror. The cries, moans, and sounds just in our area of witnessing this was something I won't forget. This building, this massive building, with hundreds and hundreds of people--children, collapsed in an instant. This indestructible structure. This iconic masterpiece. How was this possible?

I can still picture it in my head. I just can't imagine having been right there. I wanted to throw up.

Class wasn't an option for those of us not already in it. Thankfully my professor cancelled ours. There was no point with all the emotions swirling around us. We all knew that this was going to deeply affect our campus.

--->More breaking news--a fourth plane went down in Pennsylvania. But, was it related? Where was it intended for? Were there more? When was this nightmare going to end? So many questions. No answers.

North WTC collapses.  Utter devastation sinks in.

The weight of what we were witnessing just keeps getting heavier. How could anyone want to inflict so much hate? So much harm? So much devastation on innocent people? Why? WHY?!

I guess that's a question I will never understand the answer to. I will never understand that mentality, and frankly pray I never do.

I do know that God will make all things work together for His good. (Rom 8:28) And through this pain. This heartbreak. This horrendous act....He brought us together. We UNITED. For a blink in time- this country put all politics, religion, creed, race, etc on the back burner and became ONE. One united front. We linked arms. We walked through this together. We loved on each other. We valued each other. We looked at life with a bit more respect. We took time to hold each other up. We gathered together to restore what was taken. We realized just how precious each day truly is.

It is my hope and prayer that we can remember that. That we can go back to that, not just on this day each year, but always. This feeling of love and respect for our nation, for each other. We should forever etch that into our hearts and minds. We should strive to come together instead of dividing all but one day a year.

We will NEVER FORGET. Ever.

the nitty gritty

After hanging out with some girlfriends the other night & having a total and complete gripe session about several topics having to do with the "church", etc.....I decided that I would just put it out there. 

Just so we are clear: It's not an attack on my church or the people who lead us. And, when I speak of the Church--I mean us. The body of Christ. The people...not a building. Not where we choose to worship. 

This is coming from different girls--in different states & churches. Its not gonna be a pretty, sweet, boring post. 

So, I forewarn you---I'm probably gonna piss you off, ruffle your feathers, or speak right to your own heart. 

Either way--I don't make any apologies. 

Ready? Here we go!

Church--How do you define it? What does it look like to you? What does it mean to you? The online dictionary defines it like this:

noun

1.a building for public Christian worship.

2.public worship of God or a religious service in such a building: to attend church regularly.

3.( sometimes initial capital letter ) the whole body of Christian believers; Christendom.

4.( sometimes initial capital letter ) any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; a Christian denomination: the Methodist Church.

5.that part of the whole Christian body, or of a particular denomination, belonging to the same city, country, nation, etc.

I like to think of the "church" as the body of Christ. Not a physical building. I like to think of the church as all of the believers across the entire world--we are His body. We don't look, talk, or dress alike. We don't fit inside a particular mold. We have been given our individuality from Christ. 

 Ephesians 4:7-13
But that doesn't mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift. The text for this is, He climbed the high mountain, He captured the enemy and seized the booty, He handed it all out in gifts to the people. Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ's followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ's body, the church, until we're all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.

So, why then, do we all think we need to be like the next? 

Why do we put other Christians (in our own circles) on pedestals? 

Why do we try to keep up with the--no, not the "Jones'", but the "Pastors" and their wives/families?! 

Since when did they become what we think we need to be? 

And who is there holding them...and us accountable for such actions? 

I'm not saying that people in ministry shouldn't be looked up to. Trust me! I think they have been given an enormous gift and responsibility. I know they are looked at through a microscope on many levels. I know from personal experience how taxing it can be. I also know what a "high" it can give you. Constantly being looked to for answers, for guidance, for trust. To be the "go-to" person whenever anything is needed. It's a great feeling, but it also allows Satan to work his grimy little hands into the mix when there isn't accountability. True accountability. 

 ac·count·a·ble

adj.

 1. Liable to being called to account; answerable.

I'm not talking about just checking in & asking surface questions either. I'm talking about getting down to the nitty gritty. The uncomfortable questions. The ones that make you squirm thinking about asking & make your heart race when asked. They aren't fun, but they are necessary. And we should be asking them!

Something that is big in my church (the actual place where I worship)  right now is being MISSIONAL. In our community. Getting outside of the bubbles we tend to live in and reaching out to those around us. I think that tons of churches around are aiming for the same thing these days.  However, my issue is this:  if "missional" only consists of hanging out with your group & throwing a tweet or text out there to invite others to join...I say no thanks. I want relationships. I don't want to be reached via a tweet or a posting at the last minute. Maybe it's just me--but, from talking to others, I can assure you I'm not alone in these feelings. 

Listen--I realize that relationships aren't easy to build. 

They take work & and a willingness to be open to others. 

They require more giving than taking. 

They take love. 

They aren't always pretty. 

They change.

As we grow & change, so do our relationships. The one thing that I didn't realize until the past few years is that some people are willing to drop like flies when you no longer fit "their" mold.

What I mean by that is this: we all go through seasons of life. 

We are single. 

We date. 

Some eventually get married. 

Some choose to start families. 

Some marriages don't last. 

Lots of relationships fail. 

These seasons look differently for each of us. None is better than the next. You don't get a medal for completing one season first. You aren't better than anyone else for stepping into the next season that God provides for you. Just because we are in different seasons during the same moments in time...doesn't mean that we can't have a relationship. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be involved in your seasons or vice versa. 

So, what happens to "missional" during these differences? 

Why is no one talking about it?

Shouldn't we be "missional" inside the doors of our church buildings as well?  How are we supposed to get involved on a deeper level when we are "stuck" in the newly married season (this is where I am, so using it as my example!) with no where to go? We definitely  are passed dating, but not quite to having kids either. Oh yeah & we both work full-time. Something is missing for us in this season. It's not just in my physical church either. Its a common complaint I've heard from many people in the same season. Everything that I would love to get involved in...happens when I work. And if it doesn't, the start time is right when I get off of work. I can't connect, or reconnect, for anything! Its frustrating and seriously disheartening. It makes me want to scream & pitch a fit with arms & legs flailing about just to get someones attention. (do you see me?? I'm there. This is my tantrum. For now.)

Speaking of tantrums.....

Where are we going as a society--and women of God--when we don't hold each other accountable when it comes to our families? I realize there will never be a perfect time. That there will never be enough money. But, when have we let it become "ok" to start a family when we can't stand on our own two feet? When we are trying to "keep up with the pastors"? When our answer to not having the means to bring kids into this world is "it's fine, use the governments money". UM..SERIOUSLY?! That's my money. And I'm busting it out here...putting things on hold to get ourselves in order, and you're flat out telling me that I can just pay for you to keep popping out kids 'cause that's what you are gonna do. Sweet. I'm not saying to not have kids. I'm not saying you or I am wrong if we do. I just think it's time we take responsibility for our own decisions and reap whatever consequences that means. I am saying that I don't want you to pay for mine, and I surely don't want to pay for yours.

What is wrong with our mindset & how has no one in our circle called us out for it?! 

Where is our sense of "Self" responsibility?

I know this is kind of all over the board, but I wanted to touch on the big issues that have been brought up on countless occasions, during countless conversations with girlfriends from all over. These aren't "ME" issues. These are issues that have been around for some time now. I'm just using current examples to get a conversation started.

Galatians 6:4-5
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

**It has seriously taken me three days of thoughts and ideas...writing and deleting...editing and of course praying to get this out here. Its not easy to just come out with this stuff. I know I'm going to hit hot buttons on some & hit the nail on the head with others. I'm okay with it. I'm tired of the rantings and cries out about it behind closed doors...so no one can truly hear what many think--just because it might provoke controversy. I say bring it. Let's talk about it. Let's weigh in from all sides. Let's come together and attempt to restore some relationships. Let's close the gaps that have somehow formed. Let's hold each other accountable. Let's ask the tough questions. Let's stop playing so "PC" and get down to the nittty gritty.

to JUDGE or just LOVE

So,  I just read a post by a friend of mine that has spurred me onto my next blog. I told you I had lots going on in my mind---and it ranges in topic! Things just keep happening around me that spur me on this need to get things on paper....or computer screen. 

Anyway, if you know me, you know that I am a Christ follower. You know that my foundations are strong, and that I love the Lord. You also know that I'm very open....to everyone & most everything. I don't judge you based on your beliefs, and ask that you return the favor to me. I don't judge you based on your skin color, background, political stance, or sexual preference. I might not AGREE with you on certain issues, but I also realize it's not my place to JUDGE you. There is ONE, 1, one, person on this planet/universe/solar system/etc who is OUR JUDGE. And, I'm thankful it's not me. We are told over and over and over again in the BIBLE..that judgement is NOT ours, but GODS....

Proverbs 8:14  Counsel and sound judgement are mine; I have insight, I have power.

Romans 2:1   You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things. 

John 8:15  You judge by human standards; I pass judgement on no one.

So, why do we keep doing it?!  Why is one sin "BETTER" than the other? Why is it okay to "hate" or "shun" our fellow neighbors, brothers, or sisters? Why do you get to be so self righteous & point fingers at those who are different? Who gave you the right?! Who do you THINK you ARE?! You are no better than them. You are no better than me. WE are ALL, every single last one of us, SINNERS!! It just looks different on each person. So, stop pointing fingers. We are COMMANDED to LOVE our neighbors time and time again:

Luke 10:27 ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 

Matthew 22:39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Leviticus 19:18  Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

Galatians 5:14  For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Romans 13:9  The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Mark 12:33  To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

NOT once are we commanded to pass judgement on anyone. When you, or I, do....it gives all of "US" (Christians) the "BAD WRAP" that we are so often tagged with.