the W word

My oh my how my body has changed!!! 

I remember growing up being able to eat any and everything I could get my hands on.....and not gain an ounce. Seriously. I was on weight GAINERS from the doc. I didn't break 100 lbs until after my freshman year. Of COLLEGE. I was a tooth pick. And I hated it.  {If I could go back and slap my younger self, I would!! :)}

About five or six years ago, something started changing. It wasn't an overnight thing. But, I noticed that my clothes were starting to fit a bit differently. I was getting hips & a rear! That had never happened, and I was kinda digging it. Until it starting moving around to the front side of my body. My "girls" didn't/don't need any more of a boost thank you very much. And, my tum doesn't either!

I know I'm not nearly as active as I was back in the day. I was always on the move between track & softball. But, I play kickball now--sometimes----that count's right?! HA.

So, I've been on a mission to get my butt back in shape. Problem is...I hate, loathe, despise, and whatever else you could come up with on that line---working out. It's awful. I don't understand those who love it. Who look forward to it. Who crave it. It's not me. It's not in my vocabulary. Or is it?! 

The girls in my family have started a 3 month competition (and if there is one thing I am--its competitive) to lose weight & get beach ready! We meet at the gym a little before 7am each morning, and do an intense workout. We hired a personal trainer---and he is serious about getting us back in shape. He has us on this "Go Performance" regimen through East Shore. It's kind of like the new Cross Fit craze, but not as intense. I LOVE it. (Yes, I just said LOVE when referring to working out). ) I'm doing things they do on the Biggest Loser and I never thought I'd be able to-- ok, I knew I'd be "able", but willing is another story!

For me...it's not really even about the number, as much as it is getting back to feeling comfortable in my own skin. My normal clothes. My 2 piece swim suit. My favorite jeans. My favorite summer dress. All things I missed out on last summer for the first time in my life!

I'm not gonna lie...it's hard as H.E.-double hockey sticks, but when we are done, I feel amazingly accomplished. And totally unable to move. I hurt in places I didn't know could hurt. The simplest tasks are hard...like getting out of bed (cuz my abs feel like they might fall out), or brushing my hair (cuz my arms won't stop shaking), or walking (cuz my legs and butt are so tight it hurts to move). You get the idea.

Anywho---we are signed up for this for 6 months!!!!! 3 months of actual competition & 3 months of keeping it up. EEKKK. It's been about 6 weeks, and I'm still excited about it, so hopefully the momentum stays. It's not easy getting up to go each morning--I cuss my alarm daily for waking me up--but, I do it because people are relying on me and vice versa. (If you are like me, this is the best way to actually get your rear to the gym!)

It can be very frustrating in the beginning though. As much as I'm not about the number...after so many weeks, you'd like to see the "numbers" change. In a downward direction. But....so far, I've been teetering between 5 lbs. My clothes are fitting differently which makes me happy. Must be doing something right, right?!

If you are on a similar journey....I'd love to hear about it! Inspiration drives me. So, inspire me :)