can't we just be satisfied already

con·tent  [kuhn-tent] 

adj

satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

 

 

 

 Father help me:

To be satisfied with where I am. Right now. Not wanting what someone else has. Not wishing today away for the hopes of tomorrow. To be grateful for what I've been given. To not look backwards. To stay focused on what You decide to give me now.  To realize how blessed I truly am. To stay grounded. To stay humbled. To be satisfied with me. To be at peace with the present. To stop wanting so much. To stop my selfish desires. To be content in all things.

That's my prayer today. For myself & for you. 

 

 

Versus I'm clinging to:

 

Matthew 5:5

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

Colossians 3:12-14

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

 

1 Peter 5:6-7

So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.

 

Philippians 4:10-14

[ Content Whatever the Circumstances ] I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

 

Luke 14:10-11

When you're invited to dinner, go and sit at the last place. Then when the host comes he may very well say, 'Friend, come up to the front.' That will give the dinner guests something to talk about! What I'm saying is, If you walk around with your nose in the air, you're going to end up flat on your face. But if you're content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself.

 

Matthew 23:11-12

Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.

 

Psalm 131:2

I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby content.

 

 

AMEN

our 8 month adventure...so far

Can't believe we are already coming up on 8 months of marriage! 

Time has flown by, and I know its not going to slow down.

 As I was cleaning today I started to reflect on what I've learned,  

and am continuing to learn, 

on this crazy awesome journey into marriage.

Some things I've learned so far:

• Marriage is hard work!
• It's so worth all the work. 
• Combining two lives is tricky.
• His "clean" will NEVER be my "clean."
• Boys are messy.
• I'm way more OCD than I ever realized.
• It's awesome to come home to my best friend on a daily basis.
• Waking up to your best friend is the best.
• Sometimes you run out of things to say. And its ok!
• We annoy the heck out each other at times.
• Compromise is key.
• Its all about giving, and less taking.
• We are both stubborn as mules.
• Combining finances is "interesting."
• Communication is vital.
• Speaking the "truth in love" works.
• Fighting makes me extremely nervous, but sometimes you just have to.
• Neither of us is going anywhere. 
• We are both "in til the end."
• Having time with friends apart from one another is very important.
• Having common interests makes things so much more enjoyable.  
• Having personal space is still important.
• Having time alone is sometimes necessary. 
• "Dating" each other is a must.
• Trust is vital.
• Honesty really is the best policy. On all subjects.
• Expecting the other to meet your expectations will almost always let you down. (Or cause serious frustration.)
• Pick your battles! 
• Sometimes you just "gotta let it go."
• Neither of us is perfect.
• Keeping God as our center is vital.
• Having faith & praying for each other constantly is vital.
• I'm blessed to get to do "life" with him. 
• Learning each others "love language" is key.
• Words of affirmation (his) & quality time (mine) are ours.
• Laughing, hugs, snuggles & kisses really are the best medicine for your soul!   

We are still so new to this adventure. 

I'm constantly looking for new things and ways to help me along.

I would LOVE words of wisdom!

the dumb W word again.

Why is it SO difficult 

to lose 10 stupid pounds?!

Seriously. 

I'm working out like a mad woman. 

Eating way better. 

Watching my adult beverage intake. (yes. I love beer)

I'm seeing definition set in on my arms. 

And in my legs.

And my rear seems to be moving in the right direction (up instead of down).

And I know I know I know...if I've heard it once, I've heard it a gillion times....my tummy will be the last area to change...blah blah blah. I heard ya.

Some days my jeans fit better than others.

Some days they are still a bit snug---but mostly just in the waist line. 

The back thigh area is a little loose which is good I guess.

Would much rather it the waist area though. 

BUT.....

I can't escape the scale.  

IT"S NOT MOVING!!!!!!

And, like I've said before...I'm not the scale type of gal.

HA!

Who am I kidding?! 

I've totally become that girl. 

UGHHHHHH

I don't want to be that girl--> Obsessed by what a number says on a stupid scale. Or by what a size says in my clothes. [I'm so becoming that girl & I don't like it!]

Just never had to pay any attention to it before. 

I am going insane here. 

I am not throwing in the towel.

No way. 

I am actually enjoying working out.

Its an escape to focus on me.

Gather my thoughts.

Chat with God.

Pray--(when I'm not cussing my trainer for trying to kill me--[Just being honest people])

I'm just frustrated to no end at this point. 

There has got to be something I can do to move this along. 

Right?!?! 

Anyone.......

silence

I would like to think I'm an optimist. 

Someone who see's things as "half-full".

Who loves looking at the bright side of situations.

Who lives in the lightness and love of this wonderful life.

And, I feel that way 98% of the time. 

[the other 2% is pure hell. literally]

Only when I let things quiet down
--as in become complacent with God --
do things get ugly.

{-Stop praying -Put Him on the back burner -Put everything/everyone else first}

When SILENCE hits

Satan takes hold & RUNs...or rather pulls.

And, he does so with great intensity & force. 

The struggle sets in.

Its tends to make me extremely uncomfortable & uneasy. 

It can open doors & crack windows in my mind that would probably be best kept shut. 

My minds always ends up in a darker place than I'd like to admit. 

I turn into a "half-empty" monster. 

I start focusing on the negative.

I get completely FOCUSED:

on what isn't.

on what I should've done differently. 

on the mistakes.

on the regrets.

on all things that I can't change!

Satan is a strong being. 

He grabs onto this and attaches himself to it like a 1000lb weight on my ankles. 

It's a downward spiral. 

Like a staircase that doesn't stop going down. 

Further & further into the abyss.

I get so lost in the darkness that it's hard to remember that I live in the light. 

I have to claw & fight my way back out. 

BUT--FIGHT I DO!

I refuse to let Satan win.

I refuse to let Satan keep that foothold on my life. My mind. 

I refuse to let Satan keep me down.

No way.

Not a chance.

I am a fighter.

I don't like excuses.

I won't let him keep me down. [For long.]

I quickly have to kick my own butt into gear. 

Snap out of it & move forward.

Can't live in the past. 

Gotta live for today. 

Gotta live for the present.

Gotta live for the promises my God has made me for. 

 Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

AMEN!

the nitty gritty

After hanging out with some girlfriends the other night & having a total and complete gripe session about several topics having to do with the "church", etc.....I decided that I would just put it out there. 

Just so we are clear: It's not an attack on my church or the people who lead us. And, when I speak of the Church--I mean us. The body of Christ. The people...not a building. Not where we choose to worship. 

This is coming from different girls--in different states & churches. Its not gonna be a pretty, sweet, boring post. 

So, I forewarn you---I'm probably gonna piss you off, ruffle your feathers, or speak right to your own heart. 

Either way--I don't make any apologies. 

Ready? Here we go!

Church--How do you define it? What does it look like to you? What does it mean to you? The online dictionary defines it like this:

noun

1.a building for public Christian worship.

2.public worship of God or a religious service in such a building: to attend church regularly.

3.( sometimes initial capital letter ) the whole body of Christian believers; Christendom.

4.( sometimes initial capital letter ) any division of this body professing the same creed and acknowledging the same ecclesiastical authority; a Christian denomination: the Methodist Church.

5.that part of the whole Christian body, or of a particular denomination, belonging to the same city, country, nation, etc.

I like to think of the "church" as the body of Christ. Not a physical building. I like to think of the church as all of the believers across the entire world--we are His body. We don't look, talk, or dress alike. We don't fit inside a particular mold. We have been given our individuality from Christ. 

 Ephesians 4:7-13
But that doesn't mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift. The text for this is, He climbed the high mountain, He captured the enemy and seized the booty, He handed it all out in gifts to the people. Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts. He handed out gifts of apostle, prophet, evangelist, and pastor-teacher to train Christ's followers in skilled servant work, working within Christ's body, the church, until we're all moving rhythmically and easily with each other, efficient and graceful in response to God's Son, fully mature adults, fully developed within and without, fully alive like Christ.

So, why then, do we all think we need to be like the next? 

Why do we put other Christians (in our own circles) on pedestals? 

Why do we try to keep up with the--no, not the "Jones'", but the "Pastors" and their wives/families?! 

Since when did they become what we think we need to be? 

And who is there holding them...and us accountable for such actions? 

I'm not saying that people in ministry shouldn't be looked up to. Trust me! I think they have been given an enormous gift and responsibility. I know they are looked at through a microscope on many levels. I know from personal experience how taxing it can be. I also know what a "high" it can give you. Constantly being looked to for answers, for guidance, for trust. To be the "go-to" person whenever anything is needed. It's a great feeling, but it also allows Satan to work his grimy little hands into the mix when there isn't accountability. True accountability. 

 ac·count·a·ble

adj.

 1. Liable to being called to account; answerable.

I'm not talking about just checking in & asking surface questions either. I'm talking about getting down to the nitty gritty. The uncomfortable questions. The ones that make you squirm thinking about asking & make your heart race when asked. They aren't fun, but they are necessary. And we should be asking them!

Something that is big in my church (the actual place where I worship)  right now is being MISSIONAL. In our community. Getting outside of the bubbles we tend to live in and reaching out to those around us. I think that tons of churches around are aiming for the same thing these days.  However, my issue is this:  if "missional" only consists of hanging out with your group & throwing a tweet or text out there to invite others to join...I say no thanks. I want relationships. I don't want to be reached via a tweet or a posting at the last minute. Maybe it's just me--but, from talking to others, I can assure you I'm not alone in these feelings. 

Listen--I realize that relationships aren't easy to build. 

They take work & and a willingness to be open to others. 

They require more giving than taking. 

They take love. 

They aren't always pretty. 

They change.

As we grow & change, so do our relationships. The one thing that I didn't realize until the past few years is that some people are willing to drop like flies when you no longer fit "their" mold.

What I mean by that is this: we all go through seasons of life. 

We are single. 

We date. 

Some eventually get married. 

Some choose to start families. 

Some marriages don't last. 

Lots of relationships fail. 

These seasons look differently for each of us. None is better than the next. You don't get a medal for completing one season first. You aren't better than anyone else for stepping into the next season that God provides for you. Just because we are in different seasons during the same moments in time...doesn't mean that we can't have a relationship. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be involved in your seasons or vice versa. 

So, what happens to "missional" during these differences? 

Why is no one talking about it?

Shouldn't we be "missional" inside the doors of our church buildings as well?  How are we supposed to get involved on a deeper level when we are "stuck" in the newly married season (this is where I am, so using it as my example!) with no where to go? We definitely  are passed dating, but not quite to having kids either. Oh yeah & we both work full-time. Something is missing for us in this season. It's not just in my physical church either. Its a common complaint I've heard from many people in the same season. Everything that I would love to get involved in...happens when I work. And if it doesn't, the start time is right when I get off of work. I can't connect, or reconnect, for anything! Its frustrating and seriously disheartening. It makes me want to scream & pitch a fit with arms & legs flailing about just to get someones attention. (do you see me?? I'm there. This is my tantrum. For now.)

Speaking of tantrums.....

Where are we going as a society--and women of God--when we don't hold each other accountable when it comes to our families? I realize there will never be a perfect time. That there will never be enough money. But, when have we let it become "ok" to start a family when we can't stand on our own two feet? When we are trying to "keep up with the pastors"? When our answer to not having the means to bring kids into this world is "it's fine, use the governments money". UM..SERIOUSLY?! That's my money. And I'm busting it out here...putting things on hold to get ourselves in order, and you're flat out telling me that I can just pay for you to keep popping out kids 'cause that's what you are gonna do. Sweet. I'm not saying to not have kids. I'm not saying you or I am wrong if we do. I just think it's time we take responsibility for our own decisions and reap whatever consequences that means. I am saying that I don't want you to pay for mine, and I surely don't want to pay for yours.

What is wrong with our mindset & how has no one in our circle called us out for it?! 

Where is our sense of "Self" responsibility?

I know this is kind of all over the board, but I wanted to touch on the big issues that have been brought up on countless occasions, during countless conversations with girlfriends from all over. These aren't "ME" issues. These are issues that have been around for some time now. I'm just using current examples to get a conversation started.

Galatians 6:4-5
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

**It has seriously taken me three days of thoughts and ideas...writing and deleting...editing and of course praying to get this out here. Its not easy to just come out with this stuff. I know I'm going to hit hot buttons on some & hit the nail on the head with others. I'm okay with it. I'm tired of the rantings and cries out about it behind closed doors...so no one can truly hear what many think--just because it might provoke controversy. I say bring it. Let's talk about it. Let's weigh in from all sides. Let's come together and attempt to restore some relationships. Let's close the gaps that have somehow formed. Let's hold each other accountable. Let's ask the tough questions. Let's stop playing so "PC" and get down to the nittty gritty.

back to the basics. my Easter prayer.

John 3:16   

  ^16-18"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.                            The Message (MSG)

SO, I wasn't going to make an Easter post. Actually, I had talked myself out of it several times & and kept pushing the notion aside. But, this little voice in my head wouldn't stop nagging at me to just do it already (That's why I'm up writing about it after midnight on a Saturday night!) It's not that I don't want to talk about it...I mean Easter is the most precious of all holidays in my opinion. It relives the ultimate sacrifice. The most astounding miracle. The most incredible thing anyone has ever/will ever do for any of us. Honestly, I just didn't want to be another blogger writing about something just to write.

During any holiday season, I always seem to get my "feathers ruffled" if you will. I absolutely love the meanings behind each holiday we celebrate. Christmas-the birth of Christ. Thanksgiving-the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared a feast (yes, there are Christian ties to the holiday) Easter-The death & Resurrection of Jesus. Etc. Etc. It's the consumerism side of it that irks me. I try not to get wrapped up in the hoopla of it all....in the consumerism of it all. I don't always succeed, but I try. I try to reflect on the true meanings of each holiday, and try to fully grasp the weight of it.

Having said that, I also try not to judge those do. I don't have kids yet. I don't have to live up to the expectations of their hopeful little hearts waiting to see what goodies were left by each "holiday representative." I don't necessarily think that there is anything wrong with it either--IF we make sure they understand who, what & why we celebrate each holiday. And not just that the kiddos grasp it, but that we get it too. Each year. It's not something that is discussed once and forgotten, but its an open dialogue throughout the year.

I love the Easter bunny.

I love Santa.

I love the turkey & pilgrims. 

And I love how the celebrations bring families together, and people to God. 

Jesus died for you.

He was hung on a cross and bore all of your sins. 

He was buried in a tomb. 

He rose & ascended into Heaven. 

He loved you so much that He DIED for you. 

God sacrificed His ONLY son for you. 

(Let that sink in.)

My prayer is this:

That you will keep Him, and His love, and His sacrifice, and His hope, His gift, 

in the forefront of your mind. 

In the forefront of your conversations. 

In the forefront of your celebrations. 

In the forefront of your gifts. 

Don't get so wrapped up in the outfits, 

the pictures, 

the baskets,

 the egg hunts, 

the food, 

or all the "to'dos" that distract. 

Focus on the gift

Accept Him into your heart, your life.

Let Him take your burdens.

And give you LIFE again.

Would you die for someone elses sins? 

Would you sacrifice your child or loved one for someone's sins? 

Would you be publicly humiliated, beaten, & ridiculed for someone else?

I don't think I could do it.

"Thank You" doesn't seem sufficient enough.
Living out our lives daily attempting to live for Christ doesn't seem like enough.

Yet, all He asks of us to commit our lives to Him...to live in relationship with Him. He doesn't ask for perfection. He doesn't expect us to no make mistakes. He loves us UNconditionally. He just wants us to allow Him into our hearts.

Let's give Him that. Are you with me?

work

i'm a nanny. 

I love my job. 

I love getting to hangout with munchkins all day.

I love that I get to wear whatever I want. 

I love that I can go and do and tote the lil one(s) around and just do normal stuff during the day.

I love spoiling them rotten & then giving them back ;-)

I love watching them grow & discover new things.

I love learning how to raise kiddos.

I love that I get all these "practice" rounds before it's our time.

I love experiencing all the different ways that the families do "life". 

I am blessed that I have been entrusted to care for these munchkins.

I am blessed that God has given me such a heart for kids. 

I am blessed that my friends & these families allow me to help care for these precious little ones.

I am blessed that I get to do what I love as my "job".

I am blessed that my husband supports me in doing this as my job. 

I am blessed by the responsibility. 

I am blessed by the freedom it allows to pursue other things.

I pray that I do a good job with them.

I pray that I make a positive impact on their little lives.

I pray that I can be a blessing in the families lives. 

I pray that God uses me to shine His light on them.

I pray that I keep them safe. 

I pray that these experiences help me with my family.

I pray that God gives me wisdom daily to help raise them up.

I pray that I can hold up my end of this responsibility. 

they call him mr r

It never ceases to amaze me how God uses situations for the greater good. 

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

A girlfriend of mine just came for a quick visit from Atlanta. I treasure her. I treasure our friendship. And, I laugh at the way in which we were brought together.


Here is our story:

Rewind about 10-11 yrs ago (WHOA...can not believe it was that long ago!).

I was living in LA. I was young. I was naive. I was a mess. :) I was also over the moon for what would never be. I had this insane idea that I could be the "one" to tame a certain boy. (girls...you can't tame another human being, so don't waste your energy trying!) I changed who I was. I sacrificed relationships for this thing. I wore my heart on my sleeve and got it ripped off, yet kept going back for more. I knew better, but it was an addiction. 

I thought I could be different. 

I thought I was different. 

I believed the lies even when I knew it was a lie. I'm telling you I was a hot mess. I allowed this to happen for over a year! I was severely blinded by this desire to be the girl who could make him change. And she was in the exact same boat. This boy had us both duped! And, we are not dumb girls! In fact, we are the complete opposite. I have no clue what was wrong with either us. I guess we both have the need to "fix" things/people/situations. And, this wasn't something for either of us to do! God is the only one who can truly change a person and his/her heart.

Fast forward a couple of years to somewhere around '04/05.

A very good mutual friend finally laid it all out there & connected us. We connected all the dots. We figured it all out. We finally realized the truth. We saw the light---and what a bright shiny light it was!! HA. If only we had been willing to see it sooner. I'm still surprised it took both of us so long to get smacked with it. From that phone conversation, a beautiful friendship was born. It could have turned out much differently had we let it. But, we didn't.

I'm ever so thankful that God allowed this situation to happen. It taught me so so much about relationships---with guys & girls. It taught me what I wanted, what I didn't, what I would tolerate, who I wanted to be, and how important setting standards are for yourself. I also got a life long friendship. We came out on top by far. And, now we can look back at what brought us together and laugh at what fools we once were!!

If I could say one thing to this boy now, it'd be "Thank you". Thank you for bringing a beautiful woman of God into my life. Thank you for connecting us. Thank you for the heartache...it was worth it for a friendship like this. God is good. He used that mess to connect two strong spirits. 

I love you to pieces lady :)

the W word

My oh my how my body has changed!!! 

I remember growing up being able to eat any and everything I could get my hands on.....and not gain an ounce. Seriously. I was on weight GAINERS from the doc. I didn't break 100 lbs until after my freshman year. Of COLLEGE. I was a tooth pick. And I hated it.  {If I could go back and slap my younger self, I would!! :)}

About five or six years ago, something started changing. It wasn't an overnight thing. But, I noticed that my clothes were starting to fit a bit differently. I was getting hips & a rear! That had never happened, and I was kinda digging it. Until it starting moving around to the front side of my body. My "girls" didn't/don't need any more of a boost thank you very much. And, my tum doesn't either!

I know I'm not nearly as active as I was back in the day. I was always on the move between track & softball. But, I play kickball now--sometimes----that count's right?! HA.

So, I've been on a mission to get my butt back in shape. Problem is...I hate, loathe, despise, and whatever else you could come up with on that line---working out. It's awful. I don't understand those who love it. Who look forward to it. Who crave it. It's not me. It's not in my vocabulary. Or is it?! 

The girls in my family have started a 3 month competition (and if there is one thing I am--its competitive) to lose weight & get beach ready! We meet at the gym a little before 7am each morning, and do an intense workout. We hired a personal trainer---and he is serious about getting us back in shape. He has us on this "Go Performance" regimen through East Shore. It's kind of like the new Cross Fit craze, but not as intense. I LOVE it. (Yes, I just said LOVE when referring to working out). ) I'm doing things they do on the Biggest Loser and I never thought I'd be able to-- ok, I knew I'd be "able", but willing is another story!

For me...it's not really even about the number, as much as it is getting back to feeling comfortable in my own skin. My normal clothes. My 2 piece swim suit. My favorite jeans. My favorite summer dress. All things I missed out on last summer for the first time in my life!

I'm not gonna lie...it's hard as H.E.-double hockey sticks, but when we are done, I feel amazingly accomplished. And totally unable to move. I hurt in places I didn't know could hurt. The simplest tasks are hard...like getting out of bed (cuz my abs feel like they might fall out), or brushing my hair (cuz my arms won't stop shaking), or walking (cuz my legs and butt are so tight it hurts to move). You get the idea.

Anywho---we are signed up for this for 6 months!!!!! 3 months of actual competition & 3 months of keeping it up. EEKKK. It's been about 6 weeks, and I'm still excited about it, so hopefully the momentum stays. It's not easy getting up to go each morning--I cuss my alarm daily for waking me up--but, I do it because people are relying on me and vice versa. (If you are like me, this is the best way to actually get your rear to the gym!)

It can be very frustrating in the beginning though. As much as I'm not about the number...after so many weeks, you'd like to see the "numbers" change. In a downward direction. But....so far, I've been teetering between 5 lbs. My clothes are fitting differently which makes me happy. Must be doing something right, right?!

If you are on a similar journey....I'd love to hear about it! Inspiration drives me. So, inspire me :)

grits

My mind is all over the place today. I want to write about something "light". Something upbeat & positive+. I'm just not sure what that is supposed to look like at the moment. :) So, I think I'm just gonna stick to what is on my mind at this very moment. 

munchkins. 

Not the kind you eat-although I could devour a box if you put them in front of me right now.

I'm surrounded by them on a daily basis. I'm a nanny. My friends are popping them out like it's their job. My family is on a constant hunt for an exact time (if that's even possible) when our family will start to grow. Society says I should have already had them. 

Growing up in the SOUTH tends to put a certain stigma on where you should be at certain points in your life. If you're from the "dirty south", you know what I'm talking about..even if you're not, you probably still know. Ever heard of "G.R.I.T.S." or Girls Raised In The South?! Example: you meet your husband in college, get married around 23/24, pop out 2.5 kids in the next couple of years, etc etc etc. 

I'm 31. Married for a short 7 months. Kids are in our future...but not immediate. To say I'm an atypical southern woman would be an understatement!! I graduated college, worked for a year, then packed up & moved to Cali for a year & a half. Moved back to Atl, then to VA, then to England, and eventually settled in Charleston, SC. I traveled and "spread my wings" while most of my girlfriends were doing the "normal" things: i.e. getting married, buying the house & popping out babies. 

I wouldn't trade my decisions for anything! I've seen & experienced so much. I've lived! But, so have they. Just differently. God let me "FLY" & then brought me to my match at the perfect time for me. I can't imagine having been married in my early 20's. I was a disaster! I made some really crap relationship decisions. I got my heart broken. I learned tons. I grew. I found "me". I found a deeper relationship with God. 

Fast forward to now: My husband & I can't wait to have kiddos. We are excited, and {almost} ready to start having them. But, something funny has happened. *(I don't remember a point in my life not wanting kids--lots of em! [I'm an only, so I've always wanted a large family]).* My husband has always wanted kids too, but obviously hasn't had the dreams about it like I have. lol. Now that it's in our realistic, foreseeable future, I'm panicking!!! He is ready. I'm freaking out. 

• Are we ready? Really ready?
• Do we have the means to raise a kid?
• Are we gonna be good enough parents?
• Are we ready to give up our selfish desires?
• Don't we need to pay off our debt first?
• What if I can't get pregnant?

I always dreamed of being a young mom. (Yes, I know I'm still young. But, by my southern standards--I'm old as dirt to be starting a family.) With the desires of having a few kids & adopting.....I guess I need to turn the panic mode down & the the ignite your engine button on!! {At some point soon}

to JUDGE or just LOVE

So,  I just read a post by a friend of mine that has spurred me onto my next blog. I told you I had lots going on in my mind---and it ranges in topic! Things just keep happening around me that spur me on this need to get things on paper....or computer screen. 

Anyway, if you know me, you know that I am a Christ follower. You know that my foundations are strong, and that I love the Lord. You also know that I'm very open....to everyone & most everything. I don't judge you based on your beliefs, and ask that you return the favor to me. I don't judge you based on your skin color, background, political stance, or sexual preference. I might not AGREE with you on certain issues, but I also realize it's not my place to JUDGE you. There is ONE, 1, one, person on this planet/universe/solar system/etc who is OUR JUDGE. And, I'm thankful it's not me. We are told over and over and over again in the BIBLE..that judgement is NOT ours, but GODS....

Proverbs 8:14  Counsel and sound judgement are mine; I have insight, I have power.

Romans 2:1   You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things. 

John 8:15  You judge by human standards; I pass judgement on no one.

So, why do we keep doing it?!  Why is one sin "BETTER" than the other? Why is it okay to "hate" or "shun" our fellow neighbors, brothers, or sisters? Why do you get to be so self righteous & point fingers at those who are different? Who gave you the right?! Who do you THINK you ARE?! You are no better than them. You are no better than me. WE are ALL, every single last one of us, SINNERS!! It just looks different on each person. So, stop pointing fingers. We are COMMANDED to LOVE our neighbors time and time again:

Luke 10:27 ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 

Matthew 22:39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Leviticus 19:18  Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

Galatians 5:14  For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Romans 13:9  The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Mark 12:33  To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

NOT once are we commanded to pass judgement on anyone. When you, or I, do....it gives all of "US" (Christians) the "BAD WRAP" that we are so often tagged with. 

sadly unaware

Just hanging out on a Monday night, flipping back and forth between The Voice & the UK/Kansas game. I'm a bit of a TV junkie. I don't have to be home at a particular time on a particular night, but that's because we have DVR. It's sad I know.

BUT... it leads me to a bigger issue I have with our society today. While watching a video for my small group last week--Lioness Arising by Lisa Bevere (READ IT!!!!!!), she mentioned something that really made my skin itch. You know what I mean? If not, I mean, it really bothered me. It ticked me off to be honest. Not by what she said...but what it implied about where our society is at, and where it is headed.

Lisa mentioned about a few FB post she put on her wall. One was about human trafficking, and how many women go missing on a daily basis. The other was about a type of shirt she should wear while speaking. Guess which one got more hits? Caused more of an outrage? If you guessed the human trafficking, you are sadly mistaken. Out of 25k + followers, only about 40 people commented or got upset by that post. 40. The shirt comment, however, had over 250+ comments and people were FB fighting on what was appropriate or not (sleeveless or not!). SERIOUSLY people?!?! Just writing about it now makes my skin itch, heart race, fingers type faster, and blood boil.

What is wrong with us?
Where are our priorities?
How can we be so shallow?
Where have we gone wrong?
How can we be so blind to what is happening around us?

I think our society knows more about the Kardashian's lives then what is going on next door. I think my generation is so enthralled with "reality" TV, that they have missed the "reality" of what is going on around them. I think my generation, especially the females, are so caught up in the "celebrity" world, that we have missed out on our "real" world. We would rather spend $ on the trash mags to find out "what's going on in their world" than spend it on something worthwhile...like a neighbor, or charity, in someone in need.

Instead of conversations focusing on the lives (make ups/breakups/rumors/etc) of the celebs...shouldn't we be talking about the real things going on? Like the shooting in Oakland today. Or the future of our healthcare system. Or the fact that there are 27+million in human trafficking. OR that our "backyard" or N Chs is one of the most dangerous cities in the nation---they are HURTING & need us to love them. Things like this should be our "reality tv" don't ya think??

I don't understand it. I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of it....because I definitely have been. Sometimes it's a nice escape from all the stuff we are forced to deal with on a daily basis. But, it shouldn't be all that we know about. I'm challenging myself, and I challenge you----spend some time reading or watching the news. Be current on the events, good & bad, happening in our world. Step up. Make a difference. Ruffle some feathers. Make a stand. Get involved. BE INFORMED!!!!

so we meet again

So, I've "attempted" to blog once before. It didn't work out so well. Not exactly sure why I'm giving it another go, but to say I've been given a "prompting" of sorts would be a fair way to describe it. Before I embark on this adventure again I should probably fill you in on who I am. 

Who am I? 

That's a fabulous question. I am a simple yet complex girl. 

I love life. I love my husband. I love our animals. I love the road that God has brought me on the get to where I am. All of the twists and turns, the ups and downs, the unknowns, the "what if's", the shoulda/woulda/coulda's, the leaps and falls...they all brought me to this place. To this time. To my place in this life. God has had His hand all over it. Even when I've tried to figure it all out on my own, He always brings me back. 

I am in my early 30's, and a newlywed---totally against the grain for this southerner. I am a "mom" to 3 furry babies (Mazzie, Lola, & Gabby). Real kids are in our future, but when God's timing allows for us. Adoption has always been on my heart, and my husbands, and one day will become a reality. My family-old and new-are my everything.

I'm a leader, yet I don't mind following if I believe in what you stand for. I like being center stage but get incredibly nervous doing so.

I can't make a decision to save my life! I have about 7 favorite colors depending on the day and my mood. I don't just have "friends", I have "best friends". I have a passion for caring for those around me..whatever that looks like. I am a city girl, but love the countryside. I'm a hopeless crafter--literally. I am crazy into fashion and decorating. If I could change my decorating style daily, I would. I tend to change it up on the fashion front- I don't like to be put in a certain "genre".  I am a modern girl, but love the warmth of vintage goodies.

My faith is my rock. I don't know what I would do without it. I'm in no way perfect. I screw up daily. I have strong convictions, yet I try my best not judge. It's not my job thankfully!

I love reading. I used to be a major music junkie, now I am so far behind it's a bit of a joke. I love sports. Football season is my favorite. CofC basketball isn't far behind (my hubs would be so proud!). I always want to be on the go. I have a travel bug. Always have and probably always will. I get antsy sitting still, but love to nap. I've recently discovered I really like to work out--but only when a competition is involved. I'm very competitive, but not to a fault.

So yeah, there ya go. A summary of me!