An Open Letter To All Those with Mom Genes

Mothers Day.

How can one day, two words, cause so much pain and bliss all at once?

For those of you with children- it's a day to be celebrated. A day to have extra love and gratitude and adoration poured upon you.

For all of us, it's a day to love on our mamas. Our friends and family who are mamas. A day to make them all know and feel how much we love them.

It really is a joyous day.

Until you realize there is a flip side.

For those of us who desire to have a family, this day can really suck. I mean it can hurt and bring up so many raw emotions. We try to brace ourselves for impact. We know it's coming. It comes around every year. And every year it stings a bit more than the last. Because every year it serves as a reminder of what we don't yet have.

But LISTEN to me sweet ones. Just because we don't yet have a child physically here with us, doesn't make us any less of a mom. Do you hear me? Really LISTEN. We were given the "mom gene" for a reason. That desire. That love. That hope. It's all there because we are meant to be moms. We are made to be moms. We are GOING to be moms.

Now the road getting there might feel and look very different than the one we would have chosen on our own. And it might be longer and messier and more difficult and painful, but let's not focus on that. Let's not focus on all the hard stuff- because we know all of that first hand anyways. We are living it.

INSTEAD- let's keep our eyes focused on the promise. The "mom gene" promise. The promise that He placed into our innermost being. That gene that we just can't shake. Because I promise you dear friend, that He didn't give us that gene for naught. He is good. And He is faithful. And He will come through. I'm not going to tell you what that will look like for you. Each of our journeys is different. And we each have a unique ending being written. But I would venture to say it will be better than what we could have imagined for ourselves when it's all said and done.

Basically what I'm telling you is NOT to give up. Whether it's been days, months, or years...
DO NOT GIVE UP.
Do you hear me?
Never lose hope.
For hope and faith and grace is what gets us through. It gives us strength to keep going.

To those of you who are mamas- please be gentle on this day. Please take a moment to recognize those around who might find this day to be painful. You don't need to go out of your way. Just acknowledge us. Just let us know that you see us. You hear us. And you love us. And that you understand that this day could really sting. No need to dwell on it. No need to make more of a fuss than that.

And I know that this might be a difficult thing to ask, but I'm asking you anyways-- embrace and celebrate the moms around you. For one day you'll want others to do the same for you. Celebrate the mom that you are going to be. And the mom that you already are. Pour out love. Pour out hope. Pour out everything in you that oozes those mom genes.... Heck, go throw a pair of mom jeans on [they are rather comfy if I do say so myself] and have your honey pamper you today. Because you deserve it. For all that you are right now, and all that you've been promised to become.

Together, lets BE love.
-
FTLOMG
@ForTheLoveOfMomGenes

dear mommy friends

So, let me preface this by saying--I love my girlfriends. All of them. Whether we see and talk on a daily basis, or there are weeks or months between them. Each relationship is unique. And I seriously treasure each of them. Even through this rant!

I am in what I consider a unique position amongst my friends. I am in my 30s. I'm married. Yet, I have no children--well of the human kind (furry kids count, right?!). The majority of my girl friends are in their 30s (wide ranging). Married. Have 2.5+ rugrats running around. Some are done. Some are still hoping to expand their families. Most have "natural" children (meaning their husbands knocked them up). Some have adopted kids. Whatever it looks like--the overwhelming majority of my friends have growing families. 

Then there is me.  (I've blogged about this before--the status quo blah blah blah.....)

That's NOT what this about. 

I'm actually okay with where God has us. We are on our own journey, and He knows where it is headed. So, I'm taking refuge in that truth. 

It's everyone else who seems to have the issue. 

I used to be invited to all things that involved my friends and their little ones--birthday parties, babysitting for parents night out, beach days, "field trips", I mean any and everything. I even got phone calls about first words, potty training, steps. etc. BUT, all that fizzled. As the years have gone on, and more kids have come into the picture, and more events have passed---everything has shifted. Maybe it's because I don't have kids yet. Maybe it's because I'm the odd man out. Maybe it's because people think I would find it difficult?! I honestly don't know what the reasoning behind it is. 

However, I do know that it sucks. 

Just because life looks different for me at the moment, doesn't mean I don't want to be involved in your families life. It doesn't mean that I find if difficult to be around your kids. It doesn't mean that I love or care any less about your family and the milestones in your kids lives. 

Have you asked me how I feel about it? 
Have you thought about the distance you've created? 
Do you even have a clue as to why we might be where we are--is it by choice or just part of our journey?

My point is this: don't assume things. Let me be the one to decide what I want to come to, how much I want to hear, and how much distance I need. I can assure you--it's probably nothing like you have assumed.

keeping up with the "it's"

LIKE it SHARE it TWEET it INSTAGRAM it PIN it FOLLOW it BLOG it LIKE it SHARE it TWEET it INSTAGRAM it PIN it FOLLOW it BLOG it LIKE it SHARE it TWEET it INSTAGRAM it PIN it FOLLOW it BLOG it LIKE it SHARE it TWEET it INSTAGRAM it PIN it FOLLOW it BLOG it LIKE it SHARE it TWEET it INSTAGRAM it PIN it FOLLOW it BLOG it

.....does that about cover it? My head is spinning from all of IT!!! 

I can't keep up. Seriously! I feel like I have to comment, like, retweet, share, and follow on every single media one person does so feelings don't get hurt, people don't feel left out, blah blah blah. It's insane! It's time consuming, and it's a bit out of control. (Am I alone in this??)

Yes, I Twitter.

Yes, I Facebook (not nearly like I used to!)

Yes, I Instagram (I'm a picture junky for certain)

Yes, I have Pinterest (that I rarely use)

Yes, I blog (occasionally)

Yes, I have a Klout account (although I have no idea why or what it's purpose is!)

What it comes down to, is this: I flat out just don't care about any of the "stats" that go with it all. It doesn't measure who I am. It doesn't make me any more or any less important. It doesn't actually make a difference in my life.  

So, that's why I am going to stop with all the madness,  and recenter.

My identity is not in social media. 

It's not measured by any score. 

It has zero to do with followers or likes. 

To be quite frank...I'm just too old for it! It feels like an online popularity/pissing contest between friends and acquaintances that is so far out of my comfort zone, that I'd rather not have any clue. 

So, I'm gonna go crawl back under my rock, that is in my little black hole, and be oblivious. (and no, that doesn't mean I'm not staying connected, but it does mean I'm taking the pressure off to keep up with everything!)



**If you need me I'll be on Pinterest trying to find some decorating ideas to spruce up my black hole--I'll tweet or instagram the ideas, which I hope you like or follow and then turn into a blog which will hopefully increase my Klout.

11

9/11/01

Do you remember where you were? Do you remember the feelings that engrossed your every being? Do you remember the shock? The confusion? The horror? The utter disbelief?

I do. I'll never forget it.

I was driving on HWY 60 on my way to class at NGCSU in Dahlonega from my apartment in Gainesville. I was listening to 99x--a local radio station. I was singing along to one of my favorite songs of the time, when all of a sudden there was an interruption for "breaking news".

Never could I have imagined the magnitude of what I was about to hear.

One plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center buildings. They were speculating about what was going on....was it an accident? If so, how?! Was it intentional? If so, WHY and how?! I started frantically searching for a news station. I wanted all the facts of what had happened up until that point.

Then, a second plane. Directly into the side of South World Trade Center.  Panic set in on the broadcasters.

I almost ran off the road.

All speculation of an "accident" flew out of the window. Our nation, this wonderful place we call home, was under attack. I felt physically sick, deep down in my gut. I also couldn't drive fast enough to campus.

You see, I went to NGCSU-The Military College or Georgia. I knew that this was going to change things.Not just for our country, but in my life. On my small college campus in the N Georgia mountains. I knew that some of the cadets I went to school with on a daily basis, would be deployed. That the guys I sat next to in class for the past 3.5 years, would soon be gone to fight in a war. Some might not ever make it back. The feelings were overwhelming.

I parked my car, somehow managed to remember my bags, and ran inside to the student center. The typical hustle and chatter were non existent. Everyone was standing there. In shock. Watching the planes stuck in the middle of the buildings, on fire. In awe. Whispers of what was happening, and questions of how it happened. Tears streaming down faces. Phone calls being frantically made to loved ones in NYC. Panic of the unknown.

During this time, a third plane had struck, but this time it was at the Pentagon.

Dear God, what is happening?! This has to be a bad dream. A nightmare. This can't be real life. No one could be this evil. Or could they?

Flights were being grounded. Phone lines were completely tied up. Contacting friends and family in Virginia and New York was impossible. It was sit. And wait. And pray. Pray deeply. Pray without ceasing.

If that wasn't enough. As we are all huddled around a small tv in the student center, the South WTC tower collapses. It was utter shock. Horror. The cries, moans, and sounds just in our area of witnessing this was something I won't forget. This building, this massive building, with hundreds and hundreds of people--children, collapsed in an instant. This indestructible structure. This iconic masterpiece. How was this possible?

I can still picture it in my head. I just can't imagine having been right there. I wanted to throw up.

Class wasn't an option for those of us not already in it. Thankfully my professor cancelled ours. There was no point with all the emotions swirling around us. We all knew that this was going to deeply affect our campus.

--->More breaking news--a fourth plane went down in Pennsylvania. But, was it related? Where was it intended for? Were there more? When was this nightmare going to end? So many questions. No answers.

North WTC collapses.  Utter devastation sinks in.

The weight of what we were witnessing just keeps getting heavier. How could anyone want to inflict so much hate? So much harm? So much devastation on innocent people? Why? WHY?!

I guess that's a question I will never understand the answer to. I will never understand that mentality, and frankly pray I never do.

I do know that God will make all things work together for His good. (Rom 8:28) And through this pain. This heartbreak. This horrendous act....He brought us together. We UNITED. For a blink in time- this country put all politics, religion, creed, race, etc on the back burner and became ONE. One united front. We linked arms. We walked through this together. We loved on each other. We valued each other. We looked at life with a bit more respect. We took time to hold each other up. We gathered together to restore what was taken. We realized just how precious each day truly is.

It is my hope and prayer that we can remember that. That we can go back to that, not just on this day each year, but always. This feeling of love and respect for our nation, for each other. We should forever etch that into our hearts and minds. We should strive to come together instead of dividing all but one day a year.

We will NEVER FORGET. Ever.

a look in

in·tro·spec·tion [in-truh-spek-shuhn]  

noun

 observation or examination of one's own mental and emotional state, mental processes, etc.; 

the act of looking within one self  

 

Things I'm acknowledging &/or learning about myself & my life:

I am in awe of how much God loves me. 

I am blessed with an incredible husband and family. They are my world.

I'm constantly surprised by my husbands love for me.

I have high expectations when it comes to relationships.

I wear my heart on my sleeve [to a fault].

I over analyze things and situations in my head.

I let others have too much control of my emotions. 

It makes me sad that my trust in people is shrinking.

I am realizing that solid friendships are hard to come by.

I treasure my best buds.

I compare myself to others far too much, yet I'm more comfortable in my own skin than ever before.

I'm terrible at surface relationships.

 

I've never fit into one certain group, and prefer to keep it that way.

I'm not a hipster, nor do I want to be.

I am an "all-inclusive" girl. I hate leaving people out.

I am learning to accept that not everyone feels the same. 

I have accepted that some friendships are only around for seasons. People change.

I'll do anything for my friends, and expect the same in return.  

I hate that my face gives away every emotion.

I'm not near as confrontational as I once was.

I have lots of arguments in my head with people, but I would rather let things go.

I forgive easily, but have a very hard time forgetting.

I can't wait to be a mom. 

I don't want to be the mom or friend who can't hang with childless friends due to "being in a different life stage."

I am becoming much more introverted than ever before.

I prefer staying in over going out these days.

I'm scared to stay home alone now, even though I used to live alone.

I can't watch crime shows without anxiety.

I love my animals to the moon & back.

I'm an accessory junkie.

I don't think a girl can have too many pairs of shoes. Or scarves. Or purses. Or funky jewelry.

I annoy myself with the lack of patience I have.

I really need to work on my patience with adults. I'm good with the kiddos.

I want to enjoy exercising, but I hate it.

I wish I was still a "night owl".

I now have an internal alarm clock that buzzes at 6:30am.

I am plagued with insomnia most nights.

I'm not near as creative as I would like to be.

I no longer let fear keep me down.

I tend to jump in head first.

I think I can change the world. 

I'm passionate about what I do. What I believe. What I want.

my Nugs are so [not] PC

Now, if you know me, you know that CFA runs in my blood. 

My dad has built them for over 25 years. 

It was my first job. 

I did marketing for them a few years back. 

HOWEVER, it doesn't mean I believe in every little thing they do. It doesn't mean that I agree with all that the company does. BUT, I do respect the tar out of them. For standing firm in their beliefs, even when being attacked at every angle. 

They are a class act company. 

And I am proud to have been a part of it. 

To me, this ISN"T about "supporting" a company for going against the grain of today's uber PC society. [Which the whole "PC" thing just makes me chuckle since it completely alienates all those who have a different viewpoint of the uber PC crowd/noisemakers--ironic eh?!] This ISN"T about same sex marriage--I have plenty of friends & family who are gay/lesbian, and I'm not here to judge them (ps- neither are you!). I seriously could care less about it. I love them, respect them, and want them to be happy. That doesn't mean I don't have my own personal convictions, but I'm not here to throw them on anyone either. {My beliefs & relationship with God, are just that. Mine. We all have to face Him when our days are up & answer to Him, not each other. I prefer to keep it that way thank you very much!}

To me, this IS about "supporting" a highly successful company in doing with their funds what the deem important. To them. To their culture. To their business.

CFA is & always has been a company based on Christian principles. The fact that they have, and are supporting organizations that are in line with their beliefs, shouldn't be shocking! We all have that right. To support organizations that we believe in. Whether it be financially, with time, services,  prayer, whatever! That is our right. And it is also the right of the business owner(s).

To "boycott" an establishment because you don't like what they support, is your right as a consumer. It crosses the line when government gets involved and says they are not going to allow them to have a business because they (he/she) doesn't personally agree with the personal beliefs of the company. SERIOUSLY?!


THOUGHT: Pretty sure every single one of us would end up living in a hole, growing/eating our own food, making our own clothing, building our own homes--all with materials found and made with our hands, if we knew what every single business/business owner of the establishments we visited believed in & supported.....Go ponder on that one for bit. 

As for me, I'm going to get some CFA nuggets, waffle fries, & big ol iced tea. 

Please & thanks. 

lately

So....I've been absent for quite some time. It's not that I haven't wanted to blog, it's literally been a lack of time. Not content. So much has been happening...in my extended family, my immediate family, and just in my life in general. Some good, some bad, some just flat crazy! 

Let me go ahead and "beep beep, back it up" for you....and fill ya in.

Ever feel like you are on a roller coaster that won't stop?!

That's where I'm at right now. I literally have had to stop and debate with myself about what day it is. Things have been such a whirlwind in our house the past month or so. I seriously haven't been grocery shopping in [going on] 4 weeks. Haven't done laundry in 3. And haven't been home [more than one night a week] before 10pm.

Juggling my commitments is becoming a full time job!

My husband is working like a maniac due to some pretty big changes at our company. [He has always worked hard, especially during this time of year. but, when someone leaves, he is there to pick up the slack and run with it! i.e. we run a family business!]  I probably won't ever (well, anytime soon) make my husband not work so hard. It's in his blood. Part of his DNA. It's just what he does. And I love and appreciate that about him. His drive and dedication to the business that his dad built is admirable. He only wants to continue the legacy that has been in our town for 30 years. And, in this season we are in right now, slowing down isn't in the cards. 

I'm very thankful that I'm able to just hold on for the ride for the time being.

I would be lying if I said "I wouldn't change a thing though" because I most certainly would. I would want more time with my husband, and more time with my family & friends.

As for me, I'm still nannying [albeit part time], trying to build momentum in my Arbonne business & just planned an amazing event for A21 that took place on June 24th. (EXTREMELY proud of this & will fill you in on more later!) I'm really busting it with my Arbonne business. Trying to build it up so I can focus my time and energy on something that I feel is much more important than myself, The A21 Campaign. I love and believe in Arbonne with all my heart. I wouldn't work for a company unless I believed in the foundations of it, the people I work for, and the products we produce/sell. I wouldn't introduce people to products that were not genuinely good for them, inside and out, and these are exactly that. I'm not going to pursue something like this if it can't be a blessing for others. As for The A21 Campaign--well, if you know me, you know that it is my heart beat. God placed a huge burden on my heart for it, and opened the doors--and by open, I mean, opened them wide-and I couldn't feel more blessed. 

Have you ever felt like you knew you were created for something, 

but could never put a finger on it, and then all of a sudden, it was like 

"BAM"?! 

Right smack in front of your face like a brick wall....?? 

Well, yeah. That has been my experience with A21 thus far. 

I have no idea what the future looks like for this, 

but God does, and I'm certainly willing to trust His will!! 

You know you are on the right path when the enemy starts to rear his snarky little  head. The "enemy" is always hard at work when you are following Gods plan for your life. I wish I could say that this surprises me, but it just doesn't.  And, let me tell you.....I've never felt more attacked than I have in the past few months as this A21 launch event was creeping up. (And you better believe it was an even deeper confirmation that I was doing what God has called me to do!!) 

The enemy hit. 

And he hit with a vengeance. 

Never letting up. 

Causing what could've been major distraction, and a cause for me to walk away, but it never happened. Instead, I dug deeper. I pushed harder. I fought back. I found something inside, deep inside, that carried me through all of it. [{Faith. Hope.} AND an incredibly supportive Husband] He pushed buttons that would cause major emotional pulls. He attacked my family. The health of my family. I've had 3 members of my family in and out of the hospital for the past month or so. My 21yr old cousin had a stroke. My uncle went in for neck surgery and ended up with an coronary embolism, blood clots in both legs, and e coli--and is still in and out of the hospital fighting it all. My gPapa was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, after having been diagnosed months back with a thoracic aneurysm and bladder cancer. To say I've had a lot to cope with is a dramatic understatement.

With all of this going on, one would think I'd shut down. 

Well, I would have thought I would shut down. 

There was probably a time in my life that I would have if I'm being real honest. I would have shut down, become angry and confused, and sulked. But, not today. Not in this time. Not where I am...physically, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. I'm not in this life alone. I'm not living for just me. I'm not the center of my own world. I have a greater purpose. One I'm still figuring out, yet know I'm on the right path for.

to be continued.....